Last week, I asked my students if they would rather speed up or slow down time. I was impressed that a majority of them chose slow down time. Usually, children can't wait for things - the weekend, video games, time with friends, the end of the school day. Obviously, I told them I would slow time, but my thoughts of time are fickle.
Honestly, there are instances when I want time to jump - jump to the next time I see at least one of my children. My heart literally quickens just thinking about it.
In those moments, I take the time to look at pictures, listen to songs, text them, call them - really anything to feel close to them, and I would give anything to move time forward.
Then, there are other times when I want time to stop. When time moves forward, they become farther away from me even though they are where they always are. Those are the times when I am okay with time's lollygagging. I am simply not ready for the severance.
Today, I realized that Ashley's last dance showcase is one month away and her graduation is 2 months away. I know that time will then bring her to another place far away from me as she has her heart set on landing a nursing job in Chicago.
Last month marked the countdown to Cam turning 26 and being responsible for his own health insurance. In addition, his friends are getting engaged, and I know his time is coming. With that event comes the decision on where to live. I fear that it will be farther away from home.
It makes me wonder if my thoughts on time will then change entirely, yearning even more for the time we are together again.
Oh, such a great question - - a perplexing one, too. I agree - I think that as a child, I wanted to speed it up. Now, I could quarter-time slow it down.
ReplyDeleteOur relationship with time definitely changes with the accumulation of years, experiences, and relationships. I've just recently started describing my age as being on the brink of my last trimester...which is at once amazing and overwhelming to consider.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to your thoughts. My youngest is visiting and I wish to pause the time so it would last longer.
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